And in more recent news...

So here are some recent news you may find interesting (at least when viewed in my shoes).

Today, Chrysler filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy. I'm not sure what a chapter 10 or a chapter 12 one is, but chapter 11 sure sounds bad. I mean Harry Potter has like 14 Chapters and its 375239573851289571* pages long. Here's hoping it goes bankrupt so we don't get any more crappy overpriced cars from a company led by less efficient yet more boring Oompa Loompas.

*No, no it's not. You moron.

In other news, today, in an attempt to kill The Dutch Crown, a guy took the way less conventional way of Driving a car through a crowd, killing five people. Sounds scary? Don't worry it's a whole lot more retarded then it seems, just like everything in life. Lets break down the oddities now.

1. The Dutch have a royal family? Holy crap.

2.The man plowed a Suzuki Swift into the crowd. I don't know if you've ever seen a Suzuki swift, but it's a particularly pathetic car. I don't know if you're familiar with an European car. Let me put it this way. You know the SUV your father probably drives because HE'S A HORRIBLE HUMAN BEING? Well, that car is about the size of the freaking Lights on your dads EarthMurder car. Running someone over with a Suzuki is like throwing a deodorant stick at a large crowd and actually causing chaos and death. Want me to be MORE Specific? This is literally the Geo Metro. No kidding.

3. The Royal Family was up in a bus. Open deck bus...

4. The guy had no previous history of mental health.

5. He was not armed. And crashed into a monument.

Ok, Number one. Yes, they apparently do. I did not know this. Awesome

Number two is where it gets REALLY interesting. So I'll just mix 2-5 together, follow me here for a minute...

This whole event is retarded in so many different levels, it's actually hard to explain it to you with a serious face. The guy obviously had not planed anything ahead. You do not try to murder the Royal Family with a Geo Metro. You're more likely to receive their express permission to punch them in the scrotum before you ever do that. See, the Suzuki swift is a Geo Metro, which was marketed by GM. So we have a stupid dutch driving an American/Japanese/A ton of other stuff car, making this one of the most multicultural killing machines ever made, driving at a whoping ~40KM/H, running over people and killing them.

Because he wanted to kill the Royal family...

Which he wasn't even aiming at.



And he crashed into a monument...







Also not even close to the bus they were in, which was a giant target.
I'll give you a minute...







Ok, so this story tells me that A. The growing Elderly population of the Netherlands went down by 5 today. Because only old people are fragile enough to die from that. Seriously. Honestly. I don't mean to mock their deaths but you just don't want to put that in your Obituary, kind of like "Here lies Bob Von Dutch, lived a good life, raised 18 children, fought two world wars, killed by a Geo Metro." Thats really sad, I'd hate to have that happen to me.

B. Dutch don't know how to drive.

C. Americans are the cause/solution to EVERYTHING in the planet, especially GM, and...

D. HOW DO YOU MISS A GIGANTIC RED TWO STORY BUS AND HIT A MONUMENT? SERIOUSLY! I mean if you REALLY wanted to kill the Royal family, how about this one: A gun. It's less expensive then a car, more accurate, won't kill innocent (presumably elderly) Bistanders, and wont embarrass the whole Dutch nation in one swift move (I swear to god no pun intended).

My condolences to the families and the Dutch people for their losses, and a congratulations to Mr. Suzuki idiot for proving once again that humanity can be much more stupid then you ever thought possible.