A Stroke of Luck.

As I'm browsing Slate guffawing at their leftist agenda, I find the only reason I discovered this pathetic website (also known as my home page). Matthew Polly. Who is this mediocre being of questionable name, you ask? Why, he's the author of American Shaolin, one of my favorite books. Why do I care about what he does after he wrote the book? Because his travel accounts are awesome, that's why. So, why am I writing a column about a regular author at a magazine that is unimportant enough not to reach the printed medium? Well, screw you that's why. Oh and secondly, because he is no regular writer for the magazine. He only writes well traveled columns, which come every 6 months from him or so, if not more.

This article is about his visit to St. Petersburg, and Russia in general. At the time of this post, this is still ongoing, as he is updating it throughout the week.

One of the things that attract me about this man (not literally, may I add... I don't ride the rainbow) is his writing style. If you bother reading the article, you'll notice I take much influence from his own works, but quite frankly, I'm 10x better then him*.  I try to emulate in some ways, what goes through my mind in a witty and controversial way, although, to be quite honest, he's still beating me. I do not believe I could conceive a sentence such as "Such was her reputation that an urban legend grew that she had died while attempting sex with a stallion, making her the patron saint of both bad girls and horny horses."†

*Ok probably not...

†"Oh and he got into an orgy (Word History: The word orgy has become connected in the minds of many of us with unrestrained sexual activity, but its origins are much less licentious. We can trace the word as far back as the Indo-European root *werg-, meaning "to do," also the source of our word work. Greek orgia, "secret rites, worship," comes from *worg-, one form of this root. The Greek word was used with reference to the rites practiced in the worship of various deities, such as Orpheus and Dionysus. The word in Greek did not denote sexual activity, although this was a part of some rites. The rites of Dionysus, for example, included only music, dancing, drinking, and the eating of animal sacrifices. Having passed through Latin and Old French into English, the word orgy is first recorded in English with reference to the secret rites of the Greek and Roman religions in 1589. It is interesting to note that the word is first recorded with its modern sense in 18th-century English and perhaps in 17th-century French. Whether this speaks to a greater licentiousness in society or not must be left to the historian, but certainly the religious nature of the word has gone into eclipse.)with 8 people one time. And hooked up with incredibly stupidly ridiculously hot people (read people because he hooked up with more hot girls AND boys than you ever will, ever).  Needless to say he was badassedly awesome." Ok maybe I could make a whole insane sentence though.

Yes. That is Mathew Polly. Did I tell you why he wrote the book? No? Well, to summarize, he felt like learning Kung-fu... first hand, from the Chinese... during the 90s.

He is also my inspiration to many things that I now make a habit in life, such as talking to taxi cabs. Polly always says taxi drivers are the best conveyors of a countries situation and the best description of its people as there can be. I believe this to be true, talking to a taxi cab in Argentina, Brasil, America.  His own ethics inspire mine, taking his own word as law, and holding up to his own morals, all while still being informative, funny, and captivating as a person, and as a writer. He was not afraid of chasing happiness at the cost of endangering his Education, Reputation, Life (dysentery is a female dog).

Now go buy his book. If you MUST read it immediately, you can borrow my old, battered copy, but I'd rather you buy it...

Grrr... I'll bite you. Wait what?